The photo below is the view from the same spot last Saturday- one of the most tragic days in Victoria's history. The fire front travelled from Kilmore East, just above Wandong, right across Mount Disappointment to the foothills at Glenvale -only 5 minutes up the road from here. Once the smoke finally cleared in the evening when the cool change moved in, you could actually see the flames. It looked as if the whole of the mountain was on fire, which it probably was. Although I took some photos of the flames visible from our place, I couldn't bear to post them- in fact I ended up deleting them all except for this one, which is defintely the least sensational of the bunch.
From Glenvale, the fire moved across the back of Whittlesea to Humevale, eventually joining up with the fire at Kinglake - and judging by the number of international phone calls we've had the past couple of days, I think the whole world knows what happened after that.
My grandmother always used to say 'there but for the grace of God go I' and it pretty much sums up how I feel at the moment. We were put on ember alert mid afternoon and then upgraded to urgent threat later in the afternoon, but the direction that the wind was blowing meant that the fire front narrowly missed us for which we are thankful but also terrified that this was probably due only to chance.
Two former work colleagues lost their homes, and one also lost her favourite kelpie which I can't even bear to think about what that must be like. Another evacuated and returned home to find hers was the only home on the road standing - another instance of Russian roulette fire style.
Many dog breeders have lost properties and dogs - one lost every single one of their dogs which is so heartbreaking to hear about.
Such is the enormity of this tragedy that six degrees of separation goes out the window - I think just about everyone in Victoria knows someone who lost either property or family.
It makes me wonder how many of us living in semi rural areas actually have a realistic fire plan? Or think that we actually need one ? Coming as close as it did terrified me and we were never in any real danger - I can only imagine the horror of seeing a fire like that literally on your doorstep. Thoughts that I'm trying to push out of my mind now.
Our so called plan was originally to stay and fight if the fire got any closer, then when L came home from work he decided that I should go and take the dogs while he stayed. (Don't know if I could have lived with that or not?) The next day, after the relief turned to disbelief and shock from the amount of devastation and lives lost, we realised that if we had lost power, which is pretty likely in a bushfire, then we wouldn't have had any water to fight fire with anyway as the pump wouldn't have worked. So what dumb bunnies are we!
I think a generator is going on the latest 'wish list'. Plus a more serious attitude to actually developing a plan that is a bit more realistic. Most of us only think of the CFA once a year when making our annual resident's donation. An attitude that is probably going to change for a lot of people now.
My case was packed and ready to go at one stage and when I unpacked it later, I realised that just about every single thing in it was agility related. (What a tragic am I! )
So tonight I am thankful that I have still have my home (even though it's only property in the scheme of things), that my beautiful dogs and horse are safe - even the cranky goat, and all my friends and neighbours are also safe - we were a bit worried about one of them for a while.
I am so sad for all the lives lost that I am still numb all over- and I don't think I will ever feel the same about looking out over the mountains again.
And that makes me feel cheated, as selfish as that might seem - something that I loved has now lost the peaceful feeling that I always associated with it and I don't know if I will ever get that back again.
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